How Could You Be So Heartless ( 8 )

wouldn't you just love to fall asleep in someone's arms, and know that you're safe?
to feel the warm of someone in your arms, or their arms wrapped around you?
to know that they are the one, and you can trust them with anything?
to share that love and compassion with one another?
to tell them any and everything, and they'll still be there for you after?
like you two are in your own personal bubble, or world, and are living the life,
like its your only escape from reality, being with this person.

yeaaa, i wish i could experience that.

i feel . . . empty today.

some people may have taken as a joke when i said "i have no one, i feel left out, i have no one to like or to like me"
they started giving me suggestions, but the truth is, i brought this upon myself.
i didn't want to take another risk in having a crush again, because of the heartbreak i went through last year. . .
now that i have actually accepted the fact that you are a jerk, and don't care about anyone but yourself, i have moved on.
but the fact is, that promise that i made to myself a year ago, to never have a crush again, is still there, within me.
now i can only like guys for like a day, it just doesn't work for me.
i want to have that risk in having a crush again, and getting jealous when i see him with some other girl, or when he doesn't pay attention to me the way i want him to, i want to cry my heart over a guy again.
this sounds stupid, to you.
but to me, its what i miss, because i don't have the capability to do that, its like i'm heartless.
but i don't want to be.
i'm trying to get it back, but there's this barrier in my brain telling me that i can't do it again,
i made stupid promises to myself, i fulfilled them .

and now. . .i'm stuck.