i've got to face the truth sometime,

nothing's ever going to be the same again,

no one is going to be happy like they used to,

smiles will never be the same.

people are always going to be yelled at,

or doing random things just to keep their mind busy,

away from what's real.

but we've all go to face the truth sometime,

but for now we can live in our fantasy world.

- Nicole Teixeira

hi,

i haven't been on the internet in a while (not like anyone gives a shit)

and its been great. i've gotten to read and live in my own fantasy world, where i can just ignore everything that is going on. I like reading, i like feeling what the characters are feeling, being in their world, thinking their thoughts, and my own. Well that's what a book is supposed to do when you read it. It makes it so much more intriguing.

i've been down lately,

no one cares about me anymore, and its like i've been shed from existence.

no one notices me, i get the occasional 'hi' but like that does anything.

i haven't spoken to anyone, rarely, since school ended, that's what i hate about the end of the school year, everyone just stops talking, its like we're obligated to talk, and once we have that freedom, everything just falls apart. I haven't seen anyone in such a long time. I don't even know anymore. My best friend has been Kris for the past week or so, nothing bad about it, he's funny and fun, but he's my brother's 'friend' ... not mine.

I can't trust anyone anymore either, except for like 3 people, but still i'm not so sure, even out of those 3 people i only trust one the most. I've also got more annoyed with people too, which kind of hard since i haven't seen or heard from anyone, but still, they're getting more annoying, i've done stuff like ignoring them, but it's not working. whatever. that's what second chances are for, right?

My dreams are getting annoying too, I know what they are telling me to do, and what I want, because after all, a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep, but i don't think i can do what my heart wants me to do, i keep thinking and thinking, but i just can't. i made a mistake. a terrible one. and now its haunting me, because i know i made the wrong choice.

I need someone to talk to, someone who will respond. A blog isn't good enough for this, but I can't talk to anyone, maybe I can, but it has to be someone i feel comfortable with, someone i trust.

well, enough dwelling on all the bad things in my life.

-- i saw harry potter 6 on Wednesday, July 15, 2009 . it was amazing, ending was slow and they left out a lot, but it was amazing. so i give in 4.7/10

-- sometime this summer, 2 weeks ago, i saw transformers 2 for the 4th time, i think i failed to mention that a while ago.

-- i'm almost done my book. :D

-- i went to toronto this past weekend, i didn't do anything special, go to see meu pai. <3> and family. so that was fun. then went to go see HP6 again.

i think thats all the good things. yeaap, not a lot, but oh well, "in the end it doesn't even matter".

k well i guess i'm going to go,

this weekend is going to be an epic fail, because promises that were made two months ago, are now broken. yay.

yeaaa,

-- nicole .