She Was My Girl

i FUCKING love Wide Awake (L)
best fanfic of life .
fer cereal .
but its depressing, in a way . . .

anyways, thats all i needed to say . . .

oh, and i'm adopting the word 'asshat'

+ i feel sorry for all of the people following me on twitter,
because they have to put up with the Wide Awake shit.
haha, but they dig it,
because i bet you they wikied that shit.

FUCKING LOVE DARKWARD (L)

Numa Numa ( 8 )

i don't even know why i am writing this, it's not like i want everyone to fucking know how depressed i am, like they don't already have a fucking clue, no of course not, because i'm always ignored, just another face in the crowd, useless, worthless, basically a waste of space, i don't even know why i fucking bother any more, i'd rather just stay home, and talk to my friends, i have met through facebook, they are the bestest friends i have ever had, some i hardly talk to anymore, but when it all comes down to it, they were always there for me, they knew exactly what to say, they didn't give me some fucked up answer like "it's just a stage, everyone goes through it" because really? thats not what i fucking want to hear, i miss the days, where i coul actually talk to them, have heart-to-heart convos, but now they have probably moved on, and actually gotten lives, while i sit here, left behind, like the fucking lost soul i fucking am, what the fuck am i supposed to do about it ?
it's not like i can go out there and live my life, cause there's always this fucking mental barrier stopping me, i can't go anywhere anymore without fucking breaking down, and today was the second time it happened really badly, like i couldn't fucking handle it anymore, i couldn't take it, i couldn't be at fucking school and seeing all these fucking people, so i fucking left, i doubt i was missed too, because who the fuck would miss me after the way i have been acting these past few weeks, i guess you could say . . . like fuck, NO ONE understands, and i don't want them to, i don't want them to have to put up with and deal with the same shit i am going through, because it's not fucking happy. i only feel happy when i am at home now, sometimes not even, it's because my family knows exactly what i am going through, even though we have fights every now and then, we know why and what its for, instead of some fucking shit like "we all go through it" fuck you. but i need someone outside of my family, a friend even, because you don't know what it's all fucking like, when i say 'fml' i really mean FML, not some fucking gay ass shit, worrying about a crush, like fuck. but then i ask myself, again. . .why the fuck am i telling you all of this, its not like you give two shits about it. and i don't really fucking care if you do or don't . . . you fucking ask whats wrong, i tell you, and then you don't fucking reply, if you are going to be a real fucking person, then atleast reply, instead of ignoring it, and never replying . like shit. just fucking leave me alone if you are going to act like that .

Just Like A Carousel That's Lost Control ( 8 )

Let's blog about Friday (yesterday) :

so I woke up late, agaaaaain, and made it to school RIGHT at the bell, which sucks because I always have to rush,
so I go to science and we got to play with this big static ball... haha, it was goooood times.
ANYWAYS,
I got to music class and we had to do testing on Polly Wolly Doodle, uhm yeaaa .
so someone broke their reed and they needed two dollars, I had one dollar so I gave it to them,
and then Miss Caruana recognized my act of kindness and was all like(to me) :
"You were in our special intentions yesterday" (I was away Thursday)
and I was like okaaaaay, thanks. but the guy who apparently said the intention for me was all like
"NO! I meant another Nicole, who just went through surgery"
so the mrs. caruana is all like :
"OH! nevermind then, it wasn't you"
so there I am sitting, feeling all embarassed and sad-ish..
then the guy has to go add in:
"well. . . We can pray for all nicoles."
fml.
ANYWAYS, so testing began, and stuff, people played..
and then the girl sitting next to me dropped my flute on the ground..
thinking nothing was wrong with it, I just picked it up again,
She did her test and it was fine..
then it was my turn and I couldn't get a sound, so my flute had something
Wrong with it.. apparently.
I took it to the teacher and she tried to fix it, I tried to play an E flat but couldn't get a sound,
then the girl who sits beside me is all like "ITS BECAUSE YOU CANT PLAY"
and I was thinking this in my head : LIKE I'M NOT ALREADY HAVING A BAD DAY! + I kind of hate you .
ANYWAYS, mr.alfano comes in & plays my flute and was all like it's fine, so stop complaining.
So I do my test, and apparently there is something wrong with MY sound, even though when I was practicing before,
I got a perfect sound, SO ANYWAYS, I got sent to a fuckin practice room, EVEN JORDAN DIDNT GET SENT TO ONE
AND HE CAN BARELY PLAY. so I stayed in a room and didn't practice at all,
eventually the period ended, and I just left without checking my marks for the test,
Then I went to religion and we had to take some LONG ass notes, so no time to talk,
but then we got this casestudy on shoplifting but that wasn't too hard.
SO LUNCH CAME AROUND, I went to student services to hand in my summer school form, that was that.
went to the cafeteria for like 3 minutes, then went to the library,
got to listen to my iPod :] & SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT GET THAT I WANT TO BE ALONE AT TIMES.
Then English came around and we had a mockingbird test, and I think I did okaaaaay, but who knows? It's an English test...
so the end of the day has come, and yeaaaa.. nothing special.

and that was my fail of a Friday... basically .

For never was a story of more woe / than this of Juliet and her Romeo

HOLY SHIT !
kso, I finished the play,
and it was AMAZING.
I don't even know if it was like the EXACT words,
but oh em gee, PEOPLE READ IT.
I can't even describe it.
It's a shame that it was that 'short' but I guess it's a play not a novel.
I love Romeo ! haha.
obviously.

anyways, I'm going to read Twelfth Night.

ciao peoples.

-nicoleeeee.

Sooo, i'm staying home again.
it's not that bad, because i don't like school,
but i want to go to music, because i actually like THAT class,
it puts me in a better mood,
but whatevs.

so yesterday, was pretty epic.
i got home, and was like dead tired, so i did nothing.
and then at around 5:30 or so, i was in my room laying down on the floor where i made my bed full of blankets and stuff.
but then i fell asleep, and woke up at 10:30 pm. at first i was all confused and stuff, and was wondering why my mother didn't wake me up AT ALL. then i was all like "that was nice of her" so i went downstairs, i was like STARVING. but i didn't eat anything. it felt really weird, because i usually don't sleep right after school, so i felt like i was getting ready to go to school, but it was like 11:00. so i think i am becoming nocturnal.

last night i also started Romeo&Juliet, its a shame i am reading it on my iPod though, its SOOOOOO amazing, seriously. and i don't even know if they are the right words to the play or not. i am almost done. . .i'm on act 4 i think.
but when i finished that play i'm going to read Twelfth Night, because i have this whole Shakespeare app on my iPod.
its amazing.
anyways,
i'm gooooing.
byeee.

New Layout

i lava my new layout (L)
its pretty.
haha, its probably going to get changed in a week or so,
i want to find one of jupiter.
anyways,
going to go. .

It's my life ( 8 )

I'm just another face in a crowd, nothing special at all .